


collapsing underneath your perfect

by dashandlily



Series: jatp fics [3]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: F/F, Just domesticity, M/M, Wholesome, i want them to be besties so bad why can’t i ever get what i want, its literally 6:30 am pls, julie and alex come out to each other, not beta read we did like we ate bad hotdogs, soft, they’re found siblings and alex is the best big brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:21:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28129065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dashandlily/pseuds/dashandlily
Summary: Not even a moment after Julie crosses out the garbage on her page, her attention is drawn to a flash of light, and then a groan, coming from the middle of her room. It’s Alex.“Kinda hurt that time,” he opens with, rubbing softly at his left side in some sort of a pathetic attempt to heal his pain. Well, ‘pain’. “What are you doing?”“I could ask you the same thing.”—or, julie and alex have the wholesome coming out to eachother moment that they deserve, goddamn it
Relationships: Alex & Julie Molina, Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Flynn
Series: jatp fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2063556
Comments: 19
Kudos: 206





	collapsing underneath your perfect

**Author's Note:**

> this is ~ inspired ~ by madis live where she said she’d go to alex to talk about liking flynn so here’s 2.5k of alex and julie being besties because they truly would be
> 
> (title from sink in by amy shark !)

Julie huffs. She has a pad of paper sitting in her lap—it’s a little bit crumpled from all of the erasing she’s done. She can’t seem to get this right no matter how hard she tries, because it really feels like no combination of words is good enough to represent how she’s feeling. It’s been hours, it feels like, that she’s been at this—nothing good is coming to her. 

Maybe her songwriting abilities are going away. Maybe she’s just losing all of her creativity—it kind of feels like it’s all just draining from her body, from her brain. It’s pretty frustrating. If Luke was here, she’d be able to take ideas from him, or at least bounce some bad ones off to try and make better ones—and then she realizes that’s not even a viable solution, because she’s never talked to Luke about what she’s trying to write about…

Or rather _who_ she’s trying to write about. 

It’s…well, it’s the only person she’s really been able to think about lately, and it’s definitely not Luke (as much as she does love him, and finds plenty of comfort in him, she doesn’t think she’d ever be able to see him the way she sees _this person_ , even if she can physically touch him now)...though he’d probably beg to differ. 

Again, Julie huffs, and then picks up her notebook from where it is, sitting on her lap, and sets it onto her nightstand beside her bed. The sheets of paper are full of eraser shavings, and scratched out pencil marks, and they’re all totally crumpled. She doubts any of it is even legible; she’s unsure if it has even a single _good_ lyric they could use on it. Nothing…feels good enough. Nothing feels like it could accurately represent what she’s feeling. Probably not even the moon, or the stars, or anything written in them. It’s kind of bizarre, and a little bit scary, and she truly has _no_ idea what to do. 

Julie flicks the pencil in her hand and states down at the paper. Gnawing on her lip for a moment, she finally decides that these lyrics are probably shitter than what her brother could write, and she takes her pencil through the paper to scribble through everything. That felt good. 

Not even a moment after Julie crosses out the garbage on her page, her attention is drawn to a flash of light, and then a groan, coming from the middle of her room. It’s Alex. 

“Kinda hurt that time,” he opens with, rubbing softly at his left side in some sort of a pathetic attempt to heal his pain. Well, ‘pain’. “What are you doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Julie says, voice dull. It’s not that Alex is unwelcome here—that'd never be the case—but she’s not having such a great time writing, and all she really wanted was to write an inconspicuous song about Flynn to present to Luke for their next performance in a few weeks. With the feel of how _that’s_ currently going, it's certainly not going to happen, and she’s frustrated beyond belief. Plus, out of the three guys, she’s definitely the least close to the drummer—not on purpose, obviously, because she does love him dearly, but she spends a majority of her time with Luke, and she always sees Reggie hanging around with her dad. When they’re not all together, Alex is usually hanging out, away, with Willie—whoever that is. She still has yet to learn much about him besides the fact that he’s a ghost and nearly accidentally took her boys away, honestly. 

Alex stares awkwardly at her for a minute. He’s a pretty quiet guy, he’s in tune with nearly every emotion someone could feel nearly all the time, and he’s pretty sure he’s had anxiety since before he was even conceived, way, way back when. All of that to say…he knows when somethings up. It needn’t him more than spending fifteen seconds with Julie to realize something big seems to be bothering her outside of Alex showing up, and that her snapping at him probably wasn’t anything personal. At least that’s what he’s banking on, anyway, with, “What’s wrong?”

A sour look immediately finds its way to Julie’s face, if rolled eyes and a scrunched up nose could attest to that. “I never said anything was wrong. I just asked why you’re here.” 

Figuring it’s probably not worth fighting, Alex shrugs. “Luke and Reg are being annoying. I thought it’d be more fun to hang out here with you.”

The distasteful look Julie had just a few moments ago melts away as she processes what Alex just told her. He thought it’d be fun to hang out with her? He’s never said anything like that to her before. Honestly, with how quiet and reserved Alex can be unlike the other two boys, sometimes she gets a bit scared that Alex doesn’t like her as much. It’s nice to know that’s not the case, she thinks, glad, with those little warm fuzzies bubbling up in her stomach. Maybe Alex could help her after all. “They’re always annoying, Alex. Kinda figured you’d have realized that by now, after _how many_ years?” 

Alex barks out a laugh. “You’re right, though I’m a bit surprised you admit to that so freely,” he casually says. With a new look of confusion spreading on Julie’s face, Alex takes it as an initiative to elaborate. “I never thought you’d call _Luke_ , of all people, annoying.” 

The confusion on Julie’s face slowly morphs into a look of concern, and she says, “What does that mean?” 

“Are you guys not hopelessly pining after one another? I’d never call _my_ crush annoying, but I guess we all cope differently,” Alex teases. Finally it dawns on Julie what he’s trying to get at. 

“I do _not_ like Luke, first of all,” she says, shaking her head. “I don’t know where on earth you got that from, but…put it back wherever it came. He’s gross.”

All Alex does is raise his eyebrows lightheartedly. “Could’ve fooled me.” Finally, he sits down at the foot of Julie’s bed, and his eyes drift to the discarded notebook sitting open beside her. “So you’re not writing love songs about Luke?”

Julie follows Alex’s eyes to the notebook, to which she immediately slams shut with fervor. “I am _not_ writing love songs about Luke, Alex. Puke.” 

Alex takes the answer. He doesn’t know Julie as well as he knows the other guys, if he’s being fully honest, and he doesn’t want to push her—especially with how invasive Luke, and even Reggie, sometimes, can act. He’s the respectful one out of all of them. Plus, she seems…off today, with how she’s acting, sort of like Luke gets when he’s sat at his parents house for just a bit too long. Alex tries not to think about his parents as much as he possibly can, so maybe he gets why Luke gets that way sometimes. She seems defensive, maybe, and a bit touchy. He doesn’t want to upset her more than she seems to be.

There’s a long, dreary lull in the conversation, where both of them are keeping quiet to themselves. Finally, Alex decides he should probably say something, to which he goes, “I can leave if you’re not feeling up for me being here. Like if you want Luke instead, or…” he suggests, because he knows that even if they’re not mutually crushing on each other, they do find immense comfort in one another. It’s just how they are. They connect, just like Reggie and Ray, and him and Willie. They’ve all found their people, even if it’s not crushes. 

“You don’t have to go anywhere,” Julie says quickly, throwing out her hands. “Sorry I’m like this today, I like having you here, honest—I meant it when I said Luke always annoys me. I’m just…” she trails off, and shrugs, finally. She looks down at the abandoned, and now closed, notebook. “Just going through it today, I guess.” 

All Alex can say is, “Going through it?”

It makes Julie laugh. Sometimes she forgets they’re not well versed in her lingo. She’s tried to be better at teaching them the funniest sayings she knows…she supposes she missed that one, though. “Kind of like having a bad day.” 

Alex softens, and his eyes flicker up to Julie. “I’m sorry about that,” he says, voice sympathetic. He’s always been the empath of the group. “I mean…I’m literally right here if you want to talk about it.” 

Julie swallows thickly. She’s never really talked about this Flynn thing before with anyone, but on the other hand, she’s not sure if she’d notice a better opportunity to talk about it with someone for the first time if it came and slapped her in the face. She wants to be closer to Alex, anyway. Maybe it won’t be all bad. God, she hopes—though she’s not really sure how a straight, 90’s boy is going to take this news. 

“Um, well I am writing about _someone_ ,” she starts, and looks down at the notebook. “Or, like, I’m trying to.”

“Not Luke?”

She nearly facepalms. “I thought we were past this,” she says, but her voice is teasing. It’s happy. “Not Luke.” 

“Who is it, then?” Alex asks patiently. He has all day, after all, he doesn’t want to push her too much. Well, actually he kind of has an eternity, but that’s besides the point…

Julie stares up at Alex. He’s got his head tilted to the side, slightly, and he really does seem like he’s trying to be empathetic. “Sorry,” she says, after a moment of silence. “I’ve never told anyone before.”

Realization dawns on Alex, and Julie’s heart drops. Maybe she’s not so ready for him to find out. “Reggie?!” He exclaims, and then Julie lets out an exasperated giggle. Ew. 

She’s feeling lighter already. 

“Uh huh, yup, you got me,” she says sarcastically. “It’s Reggie!”

“Ugh, I knew it,” he says, playing along. “He’s got that bass player magic, huh?”

Julie tries to laugh, but a look of disgust instead makes its way to her face. “That’s disgusting. Even more repulsive than Luke, I think.” 

Alex bursts out laughing. “They're both gross. You don’t even want to know the nasty habits they had when we were alive.”

“I don’t even want to think about it.” 

“I promise I’m not the same,” Alex assures. “I did shower more than once a month.”

An even bigger smile appears on Julie’s face. “Good to know.” 

Alex looks down to Julie’s lap, and he notices she’s fidgeting with her hands. She’s shaking. She must be really worked up about whoever it is, Alex realizes, because those are definitely some of his biggest anxious tells, too, and he knows damn well how to spot it on others. Maybe Julie just isn’t ready yet. “Hey,” he says, softer. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” 

Julie shakes her head. “I do,” she says, “I do.”

Alex waits with an easy smile on his face, and turns fully on the bed to face Julie for whenever she’s ready. He really just wants to help her so long as it’s in his power, and he’s certainly going to try as hard as he can.

“So it’s Flynn, for real,” she says shortly. As soon as she drops the name, she looks away from Alex—she’d rather look anywhere than at him, even though she knows it’s _fine_ , and that if he gets upset, it’s on him and not her, and that she’s valid no matter what, and—

An even bigger smile grows on Alex’s face, and immediately he sprawls across the bed to get closer to Julie. “It’s _Flynn_!” He exclaims immediately, and then nearly falls right before her lap. She looks down at him, and sees the huge, dopey grin on his face. Yeah, she’s going to be okay. “Okay, look, I know Luke said ghost hugs aren’t _the feel-good moment I seem to think they are_ , which I think is completely bullshit and totally unfair, but can I give you one, anyway?” 

Julie suppresses a giggle. “Course you can,” she says, and leans down to wrap her arms around Alex’s shoulders. Alex really tries as hard as he can to manifest something—some sort of tactile aid—and he wraps his own arms around Julie’s middle as tight as he can. 

“That’s awesome, Jules,” he mumbles into Julie’s hair. “Honest. You’re the coolest,” he says as they finally pull away. He tilts his head to the side for a moment as they stare at one another. “I’m the first out of the band that you’ve told?”

“Uh huh,” she hums in confirmation. “First ever.” 

“Makes sense,” he says, and smiles shortly again. If he hadn’t been first, out of the band, at least, he’d almost definitely have taken it to heart. Obviously Luke and Reggie aren’t straight either, but _come on_ , he’s definitely the most trustworthy. (And no, it’s not up for debate.)

“Makes sense?” She repeats back, raising an eyebrow. 

“I mean, yeah, I’m gay, too,” he says as if it’s the most casual thing in the world. 

“Wait, what?” Julie exclaims, and slumps her shoulders. “You’ve never told me that!” 

“Really?” He asks, and Julie promptly shakes her head. “I guess not. Sorry. I just assume everyone kind of knows at this point.” 

“I could’ve told you this _ages_ ago,” she says, and her chest feels lighter. “It’s homophobic, honestly, if you ask me.” 

Alex cocks his head to the side. “What?” 

Julie holds in a laugh. “Just a joke.” She says, and then pauses. “I’m bi.”

Smiling, Alex only nods. It’s not a big deal, and from experience, he knows not to make it one. He knows, too, that the smile on his face is showing that he thinks she’s still the coolest ever. “Hey, Billie Joe Armstrong is bi,” he says, smiling even wider. “And David Bowie was. I looked up to both of them a lot.” 

“I know him! Mom used to like Green Day,” she says, perking up at the names. “We used to blast their songs in the car as kids. Me and mom and dad and Flynn. Carrie was too into pop to appreciate them.” 

“Well, your mom certainly had amazing taste,” Alex says. “Me and the guys went to a concert of theirs in ‘94. Coolest night of my alive-life.” 

“Your alive-life,” Julie repeats, laughing softly. “What’s been the coolest night of your dead-life?” 

Alex can only really shrug. He’s not been dead-alive for very long, but he truly feels more alive now than he ever really did when he had a heartbeat and breaths. His alive-life was filled with good moments, of course, like meeting the boys, but it was also littered with pain, and jitters, and trauma, all of which he’d be more than okay with never, ever coming back to again. “Coming back and meeting you,” he says after his moment of pondering. “The Orpheum is a close second.” 

Julie softens. “Some of my favourites of my alive-life, too.” 

“That makes me really happy to hear.”

**Author's Note:**

> twitter and tumblr are both @/flutterbyflynn !! also i kinda wanna make this a cute little chaptered fic maybe bc i didn’t plan to end it where i did but it felt like a nice wrap up i think .... what do u think ? more alex and julie bestie fics in the future ? i feel like i could think of so many more little domestic wholesome convos for them but idk 👀


End file.
